It’s 11:11PM. As I lay in bed. the energy drink I guzzled in
the evening is coursing through my veins, and giving energy to my thoughts on
the earlier conversations of the day.
“ I don’t date.” says
Boy A.
“Are you gay?” says
Boy B.
“No! Definitely not. I
just, well, go to a lot of college parties and want to be able to have fun” .
“Oh. So you are
scared of committing huh?” says I. ( no that isn't another person incognito. It’s
me...personally. just me. )
“ Don’t know if that marriage stuff is for me. Don’t think I
could do it “ Boy A
“I know that if I am going to bother with it, it better be
really special!! I’m only doing this once. “ Boy B
So much of our culture speaks through this short dialogue.
So many things ran through my head I could barely keep up. Now, with the help
of my AMP energy drink, I will try to piece them out.
My mind firstly went to the girls. Those girls he was
sleeping with, with no consequences. Those girls giving themselves to him at no
cost. No wonder he doesn't want/need marriage. No wonder commitment sounds like
an ugly thing. When he can get it all for free, why bother. He has a buffet ..a
free buffet. Why get a meal at a high cost. Why work for something of value
when we make the fake taste so good??
We ask for men. We ask for respect and to be cherished. We
ask for love, but the fee we actually have them pay is an IOU. You have the
power to change culture. You have the power to change a generation. It will
take sacrifice. If you are used to being sexually active, and feeding your own
desires, it will take sacrifice on your part. But its like planting a seed you
wish to see grow. Your stop giving yourself away to someone WHO DOESN'T CARE
(if he did he would value your body, would not cheat on you, and would make you
wait! Respect you enough to help you wait until the ring is on your finger),
you will gain respect. You will raise the bar. Raise it girls!! When you don’t
ask for higher standards, who is going to bother giving them. Their will sometimes be a higher cost. Like
having to wait for a guy that is willing to take that challenge set before
them. But really…a guy is hardwired for a challenge. Give them an adventure and
a mission. Make them work…and I don’t mean be conniving and hard to get. Just
don’t be so easy!!! Like I said. Change
the culture…be the culture. He isn’t marrying you? Why should he...you live in
the same house, sex whenever he wants, you have three kids together…and you pay
most of the bills!! This is a great set up! And he has an out if he needs it.
Zero commitment. He can bail on a moment’s notice.
A lot of what I’m writing, and what was joggled in my
memory, was from a book I recently read.
It was called “The Man Whisperer”…I HIGHLY recommend it. But the last
thought was when a guy meets a girl he really likes, he showers, shaves, irons
his clothes, puts on a little (or a lot!) cologne. He works his best to impress
her. What if she accepted him in his wrinkled clothing, belching, BO infused
old sweatpants….he would have no motivation to be his best. Challenge him to be
his best….and you’ll get his best!
